I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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