It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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