This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
NoShamevember. You game?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
