I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So here I am, sexting at work.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
