She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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