I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize