I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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