No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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