I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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