that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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