I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize