38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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