Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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