i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
