I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
