I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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