butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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