Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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