its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
