Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how does that bad decision feel?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
