the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
