I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I smell like Dick and happiness
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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