Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
