Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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