She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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