He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize