dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
