Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize