I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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