Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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