there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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