Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize