Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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