i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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