Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
