The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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