As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
