with your own penis?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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