Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
