ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
