Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
