He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
