so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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