You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
