She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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