Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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