his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
