need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
