He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
