I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
