I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
