That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
