I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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