She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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