just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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