I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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