Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
