the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
