She's JV to your varsity
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
