i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My feet surprised me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
